Monday, April 7, 2014

a letter to my firstborn

(file this under sappy, emotional, over dramatic, and raging 3rd trimester pregnancy hormones)

Now that we're less than 8 weeks away from meeting our sweet baby girl, it has got me thinking lots about how much our lives will change when she arrives. It also has me wondering how William will adjust to our new family of four. At (almost) two-years-old, I know he wouldn't be able to understand me if I started trying to communicate all this to him, but maybe one day he'll look back and read this and know just how much he was loved, and how special it is for him to be the firstborn, the leader of the "pack" and the one all of our future children will look up to. 

Dear William - 

When we found out we were having a boy, your dad was over-the-moon-excited. He literally jumped out of his chair and almost hugged our ultrasound technician. We knew all along if our firstborn was a boy, we would choose the name 'William'. Not only is it a family name on both sides, but we also loved its meaning: determined protector, valiant, strong, brave. Oddly enough, you've already started living up to your name (especially when it comes to the "determined" part). 


My pregnancy with you was a complete dream - you were the perfect baby; never giving your mama any heartburn, morning sickness, sleep difficulties, hip/back pain, etc. It also was a very sweet pregnancy/delivery and one that taught me so much about what it means to really trust God. I'm so thankful for "our story" and I wouldn't change one piece about it. 


After you arrived, one of the most surprising gifts you gave me was opening my eyes to see just how much God loved me. I've been a believer for many years and have always known God loved me, but never really grasped how much. Having you did that for me. I suddenly knew what it meant to love without strings attached, to be long-suffering, to want to give you the world but also practice restraint because that's what you do when you love someone so much. I took delight in every hiccup, every burp, every "first" and documented it carefully. 


I cannot believe in three short months we'll celebrate your 2nd birthday! I am so proud of all that you've learned and accomplished in two years - learning to sit up on your own, crawl, walk, run, spin, feed yourself, talk, listen and obey, and now helping with chores.


I already see in you so many wonderful qualities that I know will make you the best big brother. You unselfishly share everything and actually get delight out of sharing with others, you're independent yet cautious - carefully thinking things through before you move ahead (you get this from your dad!). You're not very big on cuddling, so when you do it I know it's a BIG DEAL and I cherish those moments more than you will ever know. And lately you don't want our help at all - in fact, if you're struggling with something and we say "Would you like help?", you emphatically answer "No! Big Boy!". Although I miss those days when you needed me for everything, I am so proud that you are taking on the role of big brother and are stretching your independence. 


I am so thankful you are our firstbornIt's a huge responsibility being the oldest child, but I have confidence you will be a great leader for your siblings. Your personality, demeanor and sweet spirit make up such a perfect package. Your little sister is one blessed girl to have you as a big brother! I know with you both being so close in age there are bound to be disagreements and squabbles, but I pray that you'll both grow to be close friends. That you can protect and encourage her, and that she'll be your biggest fan. 

Stay sweet - 

Your Mama

3 comments:

  1. This made me teary - what a sweet note to him. I'm sure William will cherish it when he's older. and what a wonderful big brother he'll be.

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  2. Oh, that is just precious! It makes me so happy to see how much you love and care for William - what a good momma you are for him!

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  3. What a beautiful letter! He will undoubtedly cherish this when he grows older.

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