You're getting ready to deliver birth to a beautiful baby boy. Although you have no idea what he looks like now, trust me - he's perfect. In every way.
Right now, all of your thoughts are surrounding his delivery and how things aren't going quite as you had hoped. But take heart: three months from now you will be staring into those deep navy blue eyes of his and you'll wonder why on earth you wasted one second worrying about a c-section.
You'll realize you would have done anything to have him in your arms safe and sound - even if that meant living with a 4-inch battle wound across your tummy.
I know for the past nine months you've been soaking in so much information on child birth, child rearing, breast feeding, etc. But I want you to know something: nothing can prepare you for what you're about to experience.
I don't want to scare you, but the first few weeks will be hard. At times you'll think you're just not cut out to be a mom. There may even be times you think you might literally die because of the lack of sleep you're getting. Oh, and remember when you read that breastfeeding was enjoyable and that it shouldn't hurt if you're doing it right? They lied. It will hurt you - every. single. time. Your boobs will transform into something unrecognizable, and there are times it will hurt so bad that your c-section recovery is like a walk in the park compared to nursing.
You will eventually learn that you and William weren't meant to nurse - he's got a mind of his own - and you will be tempted to feel guilty about bottle-feeding. But remember: this new title of "mommy" also comes with a big responsibility. You're now required to think about the needs of this tiny human being, and if something isn't working for him then you need to try another method. Not all babies are the same. He was uniquely created by God and given as a special gift to you. He's not cookie-cutter. And all those books you read might not apply to him. Give yourself and William a break. Do what's healthiest for him, regardless of what you had planned.
Everyone will tell you during those first few weeks home that "it gets better" and you'll be tempted to slap them. You'll want to hurry up and get to the "better" part. But, slow down. Enjoy these newborn days. They will be over in the blink of an eye! And as much as you don't believe it, things do get better. Oh, so much better!
When they place that tiny babe in your arms after he enters this world, you might think your heart just can't grow any bigger.
But it does. With each passing day, it swells a little more.
In three months from now, that tiny babe will start to develop a little personality, learn how to smile, laugh, and coo...
He'll start to recognize who you are and get excited to see you and hear your voice...
You'll watch Nathan love on William and it will bring out a side in him you've never seen before...and you'll fall head over heels in love with your man all over again.
Those sleep deprived days will be (almost) long gone. He won't have a "sensitive hour" anymore.
And you will be completely and utterly drenched in love. You will be torn between wanting time to stand completely still, and thinking about how much more fun it gets in the next few months and years. You will realize, for the first time in your life, how good it feels to give of yourself to your family all day long.
And you'll finally realize you do have what it takes to be a mom. You'll realize instead of reading books and parenting magazines for advice, that the best thing you can do is ask your husband. You'll both learn to work together to find solutions and troubleshoot ideas. And together you'll figure out what works for William. And if there's a problem you just can't seem to solve together, you'll realize it's best to just lay that at the feet of Jesus and wait for answers. He'll give you enough grace for each day.
Get ready for the ride of your life!