Friday, June 11, 2010

. . . She Said

Nathan did an extremely sweet post yesterday about what he's learned during his first year of marriage (I promise, there was no bribing involved--he did that all on his own!).  So today I thought I'd share a few more bits of wisdom from my end and a little list I pulled together of some books on marriage, being a wife and womanhood that I have found extremely beneficial this first year.

**As a disclaimer, I should note that Nathan and I are both still learning (lots) about marriage.  These are just things we've learned so far.  Feel free to leave your marriage advice for us in the comments section below.  We'd love to hear your thoughts!

What I've Learned During My First Year of Marriage:
  1. Don't try to change your man.  I know this sounds very cliche, but one of the things I did when Nathan and I first got married was pray for him--a lot.  "Lord, teach him to be more (fill in the blank here)" or "Lord, teach him to pick up after himself."  It wasn't too long after that when the Lord showed me that I needed to pray for my attitude to change.  It's that whole "removing the plank from our own eye first" thing.
  2. Stop, Drop and Hug.  Nathan is a very affectionate man, and I love that about him.  When we first got married, however, it bothered me when I would be in the kitchen cooking or doing some other chore around the house and Nathan would interrupt me and want a hug.  The Lord really stopped me one day and reminded me how truly blessed I am to have an affectionate husband, and how I should savor that quality in Nathan.  I'm learning to stop, drop what I'm doing and give Nathan the affection he needs.
  3. Be his best friend.  Rarely can you find Nathan anywhere in our house without me.  If he's playing XBOX 360, I'm right there on the couch cheering him on to victory as he blows people's heads to smithereens.  If he's looking up geeky tech stuff on the computer, I'm sitting in the lounge chair in his office reading BHG.  I've learned  (through great teachers) that men desire our companionship.  Since the start of our marriage, I've tried to make it a habit to be the companion that Nathan desires.  We truly are the best of friends and I can only assume it makes married life so much happier and fun that way.
  4. Get 'Er Done.  When Nathan and I first got married, I was constantly cleaning the house and keeping it tidy.  Then I started my full-time job.  Our house was never messy after that, but my attitude about keeping a tidy home changed quickly.  My joyful attitude about cleaning turned into something I loathed.  Then I read Proverbs 31 and felt God prompting me to change my attitude about housework.  Nathan also loves the verse in Colossians 3:23, "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men."  Ironically, he'd recite this sometimes not knowing that I was struggling to keep a good attitude about housework and I'd start to feel a sting of conviction about my attitude.  Now, whenever I feel less-than-thrilled about starting my housework, I'll crank up the praise music and just clean for the Lord.  That may sound weird, but it gets the house clean and kisses my funky mood goodbye. 
Now, for the list of books I've read during our first year that have helped me tremendously.  Of course, nothing compares to the Bible, but I think these are some great resources to have on hand if you're a woman.

  1. A Wife's Purpose by Cindy Schapp
  2. For Women Only (there's also one for men entitled For Men Only) by Shaunti & Jeff Feldhahn
  3. Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs (a great one for men and women)
  4. The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian
  5. So Long Insecurity, You've Been a Bad Friend to Us by Beth Moore

I do hope you've enjoyed taking a look back into mine and Nathan's first year of marriage.  This blog has helped me document all of the fun, joy and craziness we've experienced throughout the first year, and I can't wait for many, many more years to come! If you missed the first couple of posts, be sure to check Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3 of our wedding details, and also this guest post that Nathan wrote.

We're signing off for a few days to celebrate this weekend, but we hope you have a great one!


  1. Happy Anniversary! Have a great celebration weekend! We are doing the same for our anniversary on this weekend!

  2. Happy Anniversary!! I hope you had a wonderful weekend celebration.

    We read "Sacred Marriage" right after we got married; it's awesome. I highly recommend it :)

    ps -- love "stop, drop and hug!" that's my sister for you :) Love language of physical touch, perhaps?


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